[RECORDING STARTING SOUND]
(softly and dramatically) Dear journal, something weird happened today... I can’t believe I’m saying this, but... I think my apartment is haunted. Duh duh duhhh. (laughs, then continues in her usual tone) Just kidding, I got you didn’t I? Well actually probably not, because you’re just the recording app on my phone, that I alone am talking to, but my acting skills are on point. (sighs) Three years of theatre class and this is what I got out of it, well this and some easy A’s. Well actually most of my classes were easy A’s, so- so actually I didn’t get much value from it did I.
Anyways, the real news story is that my floorboards are creaking all the time, if it weren’t for my sound machine I don’t think I would be able to keep my sanity. There’s always been some creaking but I find it’s been getting worse and worse. I told my landlord about it, and at first he said it’s weird because there was a two year period between me and the previous tenant, so he did some reno’s, but I guess he forgot to get the floors reinforced or something. He’s going to check it out later today. Maybe he can fix the heating too because it's freezing in here. Seriously, did I turn down the thermostat or something?
Oh, crap. I’m gonna miss my bus if I keep talking. Ok well, uhm I’ll talk to you later? Well, I’ll record me talking to myself later. At least, that is... if the ghost doesn’t get to me first! Ooooooh! (makes a cheesy ghost noise, then laughs) Ok, bye.
[RECORDING SAVED SOUND]
[RECORDING STARTING SOUND]
Dear journal, now my landlord thinks my apartment is haunted. Yeah, I know, but Jeffery says that he definitely saw a ghost in here. He’s always been a little eccentric, but I mean ghosts? Come on. I guess he does have a reason for thinking that. Apparently, the guy who lived here before me? Was also a first year student, and the reason they needed to do all those "renos" was to get all the blood out of the floor. He killed himself during finals week, poor guy. His parents came to the apartment five days later to take him out for dinner, as a celebration for him finishing his first year of university.
Well, at least I now know why my rent is so cheap here compared to similar listings. But that doesn’t mean that there’s a ghost in my apartment, right? I know Jeffery told me that he saw something, but he could be messing with me! I know that’s not really his style, but the story is kind of basic. I mean, a university student kills themself because of the pressure? I mean that’s kind of why spring break exists...
[FLOORBOARDS CREAKING FAINTLY IN THE BACKGROUND, SLOWLY INCREASING IN INTENSITY]
No, no. He- he wouldn’t make up a suicide story just to prank me, that’s messed up! I feel for the kid though. It’s really been a tough transition for me too... I understand. I would never, you know, actually... But it’s hard not to go there sometimes. (sighs) I need a drink.
[MYLEA GETS UP AND WALKS. THE FLOOR CREAKS UNDERNEATH HER]
Fucking floorboards, ugh.
[FRIDGE OPENS, MYLEA RUMMAGES AROUND IN IT, FRIDGE CLOSES]
Hey ghost, this one’s for you.
[CAN OPENS]
Oh, wait, what did Jeffery say your name was...
[VERY LOUD CREAK]
Alex. Alex Thompson... This one’s for you.
[A DISTORTED VOICE. MYLEA DROPS THE CAN]
(warily) Who said that? Jeffery, you still in here? I thought you left... God. You're freaking out for no reason. There’s no such- What the fuck, what the f-
[STATIC]
(softly, somewhat scared) Dear journal, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but... my apartment is haunted, it’s definitely haunted. That was- well I don’t know what that was for sure... but it looked like a ghost. I can’t- I
[FLOOR CREAKS]
(angrily) God, fucking hell Jeffery! Who the fuck plays pranks on their tenants like this. I hope you know, I’m gonna fucking sue you after this. This isn't funny! (anger fades, now desperate) Please, please, just- tell me it’s you. Please, jus- just- tell me it’s you, please, that's all... I just need you to... (takes a deep breath, then yells defensively) I swear, this isn’t funny! You think it’s funny that I’m hiding in my bathtub, you fucking asshole?!
[MORE CREAKING]
(softly) Sorry, I’m sorry... why are you doing this- I’m not that bad! Well- Okay, I might cause you some problems.
[CREAKING]
God- fuck, I’m sorry! I’m sorry for everything! I’m sorry that I play my guitar loudly, or that I have guys over, which paired with the creaky floorboards, I understand why you would get a lot of complaints about it. And I’m sorry I never eat any of the desserts you put out at the front desk, they’re just- really bad, you cannot bake. I’m sorry for saying that, bu- but it’s true... I don’t know why I’m saying all this. (pause) I realised a while ago you’re... not on the other side of that door. (begins to audibly tear up) I don’t know what is, but- I’m scared... I don’t- I don’t know what to do.
[DOOR HANDLE RATTLES]
(whimpers) Please, please, fuck, fuck, fuck...
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
(terrified, likely crying) God, I don’t want to look... Mom... Dad... I'm sorry. I’m sorry for being a mess, I’m sorry you had to deal with me, I- I jus- I just wanna know... I just want you to know... that if... I- I love you. I love you guys. Quinn, Lily, thank you for every-
[FLOORBOARDS CREAK]
God, fucking, please don’t kill me! (sniffs) I don’t wanna die, I don’t- I don't want to-
[A SCRATCHING/RUBBING NOISE]
What is it doing? God, god, I don’t- (takes a deep breath, steels her nerves) What the- what the fuck is wrong with you? You’re hiding in a fucking bathtub, begging for your life? No! This isn't how you go- Okay. On the count of three.
[MYLEA GRABS A BOTTLE FROM THE BATHTUB]
Shampoo protect me. (deep breath) One... Two... Three!
[SHOWER CURTAIN IS PULLED OPEN. MYLEA GIVES A SHORT YELL]
Oh. There’s... nothing there. Or is there? Ghosts can be invisible! Well, I don’t know for sure, but I’ve watched horror movies... which are probably not accurate. Oh god- I see something on the mirror... it's- it’s written in blood! It says- “Hi -Alex”.
[A BEAT]
Well that’s a bit anticlimactic... And- (scoffs, annoyed) he used my good red lipstick to write it! That stuff’s expensive, fucking ass- I mean... oh, thank you benevolent spirit, thank you for sparing this mortal’s life... Wait, he died two years ago... Thanks dawg for not murdering me, um... we cool, now?
[SILENCE]
...Okay, so you’re going back to not answering me. Gotcha. Are you like, tired? From all the appearing and... writing with cosmetics? Do ghosts get tired? Dumb question, but, um, can you possess people? Would people remember being possessed- Have you ever possessed me? That’d be kind of weird... Sor- sorry, sorry for asking all these questions, I just- I don’t understand how like, it works? Like I thought, that when we die, we... well, die. It’s just kind of- hard to process. Like, does everyone become a ghost? Or are just here because you have unfinished business? Do I have to like, help you? Like, do you need to say goodbye, or maybe... maybe you didn’t commit suicide! (gasps) You were murdered! And now you need me to solve it and bring your murderer to justice because I’m the only one who can see you!
Oh wait no, Jeffery said he saw you too. I’m not actually special, I’ve just... watched too many movies. And if you really wanted your murder solved, you would have, like, revealed yourself to the construction guys when they were doing the renos. And people would believe them much more then a pessimistic 18 year-old girl and a man who can’t manage chocolate chip cookies. Like seriously, just follow a recipe, Jeffery! But, I mean, what do I know? Absolutely fucking nothing apparently, because ghosts are real! And not like on those ghost shows where if they hear any noise after they ask a question they're like, (dramatic gasp) it’s a ghost! Well, at least this is the only weird thing happening to me. Maybe a lot of people have ghosts and it’s just like a taboo thing to ta- (gasp)
The guy. I- I remember now, th- th- the guy! I- I saw him before. I- I don’t know why I forgot... all of my memories started to get fuzzy. All I could remember was... was that smile. But I saw him again and I remember him. I remember a lot about him, he was wearing... he was... no, nonono. You- you can do this, you- he- you have to remember, okay? (deep breath) Um... a blue jacket, with- gold lining, yeah, yeah yeah. And- black pants? Almost like he was security or something. Um, he had black, greasy-looking hair and... there wa- there was one more thing... a green fedora. Hm. Um, and same thing as before, too. H- he didn’t move at all. Just watching his surroundings. Maybe he is security, but for what? The church is abandoned.
[FLOOR CREAKS]
(tentatively) Oh hi, um, ar- are you here again? Do you know something about the guy? (silence) Ok, now that was probably just the floorboards for real. (sighs) I swear, I'm going crazy, but.. (laughs) I mean, whatcha gonna do? I have a quiz tomorrow, so gotta go study for that. Um, so.. bye. Um... bye for now.
[RECORDING SAVED SOUND]